I am growing a skeletor child!

Woah baby! Mike and I went to the bean's nuncal translucency screen today and per usual we were truly amazed by what we saw. I cannot believe how much the fetus has grown in three short weeks! As soon as the nurse placed the transducer on my belly (much nicer than an internal ultrasound) we saw the bean doing the riverdance on top of my placenta. Let me tell you... it is kind of creepy to know that a fetus is participating in a boxing match inside your uterus and you cannot feel a thing! After a couple of minutes of dancing around, I think the bean wore himself out. He finally settled down and took up residence lying on top of my placenta, it looked as though he was using it as a body pillow (one leg and arm was stretched over the placenta). Just as he started to pet the placenta with his tiny hand he turned to face us. And that is when I finally noticed it... our baby looks like skeletor! It was a little shocking at first and my immediate question was... is he normal? He nurse just laughed at us and said that he looks absolutely perfect. I calmed my nerves by searching google when we finally got home... all fetus' at this age look like skeletor. The bean was fairly cooperative for the remaining part of the ultrasound, although he kept running away from the probe. We were able to get wonderful measurements, hear the heartbeat for the first time (melt), see the 4-chamber heart, the flow of blood in the umbilical cord, the brain, stomach and the tiny bones in the arms, legs, hands and feet! I do not know how it is possible but I fall more in love with this baby each day!

How far along? 12 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Well, I have started the dreaded gain... but still down 5 pounds!

Maternity clothes? Whoever invented the bella band is an absolute genius.

Sleep: Still enjoying my 2 naps per day.

Best moment this week: Seeing the bean... he actually looks like a baby!!!

Movement: How can I not feel that??

Gender: The nurse was not able to see the goods... the baby is very shy!

Labor Signs: No thank you!

Belly Button in or out? In, no progress this week either!

What I miss: Being able to go outside without feeling like I want to die... when are the days of 100+ heat going to end?

What I am looking forward to: When can I see the bean again? 8 more weeks sure is a long time!

Weekly Wisdom: I have a feeling that I should appreciate the next couple of weeks without feeling movement... the way the bean was acting I think I am in for a real treat!

Milestones: Seeing the bean, adding to the list of one of the best days ever!!

Seriously... how cute is this?

Aren't these outfits absolutely precious!!! I cannot believe how tiny these clothes are... obviously, Grandma Hamilton knows all about our obsession with the longhorns (obsession is putting it mildly)! It is incredibly exciting to get some of our first items for the bean and I know that this kiddo is going to be one loved little baby. Aunt Katie also knows us really well, she has been there for some our best adventures and she picked out a perfect onsie to sum up our lives (Love you Kate!). Sorry... I am not savvy enough to rotate the pictures, any help is appreciated!

I don't really like the word 'kumquat'

So, this week our baby is supposedly the size of a kumquat. I do not really like the word kumquat for some reason, nor do I want to refer to my baby as a kumquat. What the hell is a kumquat anyways? Upon my google search of this curious fruit/vegetable I discovered it actually makes a pretty good marmalade... who knew? Anyways, on to more exciting things. Morning sickness is still kicking my tired butt and it feels like the baby is crawling around in my lower spinal column but I am still loving every minute of this pregnancy. And if I use my imagination I can see the beginnings of a baby bump! Nothing too exciting this week...actually making it to work is quite the accomplishment for me these days. Mike is starting to talk to the fetus, which makes my heart melt each time. He is trying to coax the bean into giving away it's gender by asking the baby to knock once for girl and twice for boy.... well the only knocking going on is all of the gas bubbles floating around. I am often surprised that Mike comes home so quickly after work... between the gas, vomiting and me constantly begging/pleading/crying for a back rub I think I would have headed for the nearest bar by now!

How far along? 11 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Down six pounds... just when I thought I was on the way back up!

Maternity clothes? New bra this week... this whole boob thing is getting a bit scary!

Sleep: I am down to only two one hour naps per day... movin' on up!!! We won't mention the 10 hours of sleep a night... minimum!

Best moment this week: Mike talking to the belly and of course the belly rubs!

Movement: Still waiting...

Gender: Knock once...twice? Knock at all?

Labor Signs: No thank you!

Belly Button in or out? In, I am happy to report that the belly button movement is at a standstill this week!

What I miss: I have pinpointed that Diet Coke is the biggest loss in my life. I sneak one every now and then... don't tell the pregnancy police (aka Mike).

What I am looking forward to: The appearance of a real baby bump.

Weekly Wisdom: Touch and talk to your belly everyday... the fetus appreciates it!

Milestones: I haven't missed a day of work... yet.

My how you have grown!

Just as I thought life could not get any better... we get a very pleasant surprise! As you can probably guess, seeing our baby is the most exciting and heart capturing experience I have ever encountered (besides my wedding day... love you Mike)! Nothing could have prepared me for what we were about to see... our little bean was actually starting to look like a baby! And the best part was, he waved to us for the first time!!! Per usual, I could not look at the ultrasound screen until I heard those comforting words, "There he is!" I will never forget our doctor telling us that day, "This is the real deal, you officially have a happy, healthy baby on the way!" I begged for him to scan me for the rest of the afternoon so Mike and I could visit with the bean, but regretfully, he had other patients to see :(. People probably think I belong in the nut-house as I walk constantly around with a gigantic smile and rub my non-pregnant looking belly, but I treasure this experience with every ounce of my being. Somehow, the vomiting doesn't seem so bad anymore!

(Ultrasound interpretation: the head is down (lower right quadrant of my uterus), followed by the hands/arms in the middle, and then the trunk at the top. I know...it looks like the head is on top!)

How far along? 10 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Still T minus five pounds.... holla! Surprising considering my horrible food choices.
Maternity clothes? I caved and bought a Bella Band... so I can unbutton my pants in public without looking like a pervert.
Sleep: I am awake about 6-8 hours a day now... what an accomplishment!
Best moment this week: Seeing the bean...I am still resisting the movement to call him hamster!
Movement: Still waiting...
Gender: Again, Bueller???
Labor Signs: No, fingers crossed that it stays that way (for now)!
Belly Button in or out? In, although I think it is now starting to slowly migrate outward...bummer!
What I miss: Wine... I was a little sad about that this week!
What I am looking forward to: When can I see the bean again?
Weekly Wisdom: Symptoms come and go...even from hour to hour! I am trying to keep the panic attacks to a minimum.
Milestones: Seeing the bean, adding to the list of one of the best days ever!!

I just thought I was in the clear...WRONG!

"Morning sickness" has reared it's ugly head... I knew I should not have done all of that bragging! Also, the term MORNING sickness is a total and utter lie, seeing as how I have my head in the toilet at all hours of the day. Pregnancy is a hard thing to hide when the color of your skin has turned green and you instantly dry heave at the mere mention of steak. Sadly, fruit has become the enemy as I proceed to instantly throw up all of the delicious fruit that I eat. But I have started to look on the bright side... it is not all that bad when coming back up (kind of like a smoothie)! However, I can tell you to stay away from the foods for which that is definitely not the case... hot Cheetos, bean dip, tomato soup, chips and salsa, and the ugliest of them all- spaghetti!

Here are 2 of my favorite barf stories (if you can call them 'a favorite'):

Our call room (at work) is surrounded by really, really thin walls and the neonatologist happens to be in the room next door to us. Remember, this instance occurred before anyone knew that we are pregnant! The poor doctor-on-call was a practical witness to an all-nighter, and I am not talking about a drunk fest in college, people. I proceeded to ralph my brains out from 1am to 3am and he could hear each glorious moment. How do I know this? The next morning he asked me if I was alright...physicially alright! As I lied straight to his face, he proceeded to give me some of the strangest looks and after 30 minutes of inquisition he finally conceded. A couple of weeks later when I spilled the beans, he told me that he thought I had an eating disorder...nice!

I will start this next story by saying...poor, poor Amanda! We had hopped into her car to make a run to the HEB and needless to say I was not feeling so stellar on the way there. She quickly pulled into a parking spot and we jumped out of the car in the hopes that I would make it inside before the eruption. Well, that didn't happen.... I proceeded to throw-up approximately 2 pounds of cherries and blueberries in the middle of the parking lot. Not only did Amanda get to witness this spectacle, the 50 other people in the parking lot got an eye full as well. One girl was looking with such disgust and I imagined that she was thinking, 'What a drunk bi**h, she is throwing up in an HEB parking lot at 2pm!' The others just avoided me as I walked into the store, all the while wondering what disease I had that would make me throw up so violently. To put the cherry on top (literally) I walked back to the car to find a dog licking up the evidence, I didn't have to heart to tell him that it probably wasn't such a good idea!

How far along? 9 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Down five pounds... lets keep it coming!

Maternity clothes? Sweatpants and pajama pants are my new best friend (thanks to "the bloat").

Sleep: I am pretty sure I am sleeping as I type this.

Best moment this week: Being able to hold down a chocolate dip cone from good ol' DQ!

Movement: Still waiting...

Gender: Bueller????

Labor Signs: No, and lets keep it that way!

Belly Button in or out? Still in...score!

What I miss: Fruit...what a sad, sad situation.

What I am looking forward to: Getting my head out of the toilet.

Weekly Wisdom: Never think you are too old for morning sickness.

Milestones: I think I can see a very tiny baby bump starting to form...so exciting!

Happy First Daddy's Day my love!

So, I kind of posted this one out of order seeing as though Father's day was about a week after we found out that we are expecting! You see,during the first year of trying I had dreamt up all of the fun and crazy ways that I could tell Mike that he was going to be a father. I had some really good ideas, so please let me know if you are interested in telling someone their life is about to change forever! Sadly, after a year, things were not such a surprise anymore. To tell you the absolute truth, I was 110% certain that I was NOT pregnant the month that we got the surprise of our life. It was our 2nd round of clomid and 4th IUI and I was just praying that my period would come so that we could move on to the next step of the infertility process. However, I stuck to my routine of peeing on a stick (home pregnancy test) the first day that it is actually humanly possible to tell if you are indeed knocked-up. I had just gotten home from working a brutal 24 hour shift and could barely hold my eyes open as I stumbled into the bathroom, which is not the optimal situation when you are trying to pee on something. I just knew it was going to be negative, so I placed the test on the bedside table, then proceeded to dive into bed and pass into my usual coma as I often do after work. I awoke a few short minutes later to Mike shaking my shoulder asking if I had looked at the pregnancy test, which by the way is impossible if your eyes are closed Mike! I could not believe my eyes, as there was the faintest-of-faint second line staring back at me. I jumped straight out of bed (I have not moved like that since I was 12 years old) and I ran to the window to shed some light on the situation. It was true...Mike even saw it too, but he did not believe it! After hugs, kisses and alot of tears of joy we headed to Kirby Lane for a celebration breakfast. On the way home Mike pulled into Walgreens, and literally bought out their entire stock of home pregnancy tests. As soon as we got home he requested that I pee on another, and another and then another (hence the millions of tests you see in the picture, which is only the half of it) which to our elation, all came back positive.

As you can guess, I did not technically get to "surprise" Mike with the news of a lifetime. That being said, I cannot imagine a more perfect way to share our happiness together. So, I constructed a neat little present to celebrate the first of this special occasion. The moral of my incredibly long story is...Mike is going to be a father and he could not be happier!

I am officially in L-O-V-E with a blueberry!

Who knew that something so small could steal your heart with just one glance! Our baby is truly amazing, I mean just look at the picture!! It is kind of a where's waldo moment when you are feverishly searching the screen for your little one, but once you have captured him it is all over! **Disclaimer: I will refer to the bean as a 'him' just to make it easier, I promise we do not know the sex!** His tiny little heart was flickering away and I cannot even begin to describe how relieved and excited both of us were! We were so blessed to have my mom there with us... for Mike, she was his buffer in case something was wrong with the baby and I in turn had a major meltdown, and for me it was one of the most special moments in my life and I just had to have her there with me. Thanks mom :) So my question has finally been answered... yes there is indeed someone in there and ready or not they are on the way!

(Ultrasound interpretation: It is the speck hanging on to the left side of my uterus)

How far along? 8 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Down three pounds... wahoo, I could get used to this!

Maternity clothes? I see another bra upgrade in my near future :(

Sleep: Who knew someone could sleep 16 hours a day and still be tired...amazing!

Best moment this week: Seeing the bean...Mike thinks we should call him hamster, get it?

Movement: Still waiting...

Gender: I promise we do not know... but we have our suspicions!

Labor Signs: No, and lets keep it that way!

Belly Button in or out? In, I think it is actually moving inward. One can hope right?

What I miss: Being awake.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the bean again...I just cannot get enough!

Weekly Wisdom: Stool softeners are your friend...yucky!

Milestones: In case you couldn't already guess...seeing the baby, best day ever!

Holy boobs batman!

Just to forewarn our followers, I am going to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly of pregnancy. I want to remember every detail as I am one of the luckiest women alive to be blessed with a little one growing inside of me. This week I cannot help but notice that the girls are finally showing up to this party...in full force none the less! Not only do they constantly feel like they are on fire but they are growing by what seems like the minute. I know our male readers are thinking 'yay for Mike', or 'I can't believe she is actually talking about this', but WOW! That is all I will say on this matter as I have probably already said too much.

We have reached the 7 week mark and I am treasuring every moment of this experience and I continue to pray that the sickness stays at bay...I guess time will tell!

How far along? 7 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Down 2 pounds...it is amazing what abstaining from alcohol will do for you!!

Maternity clothes? A brand-spanking new bra... see dialogue above :)

Sleep: The better question is, when am I awake?

Best moment this week: Not feeling sick...YAY!

Movement: None yet... can't wait!!

Gender: No clue... any guesses???

Labor Signs: No thank you!

Belly Button in or out? Way in.

What I miss: Blue moon beer and red wine!

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the bean next week

Weekly Wisdom: Trust God, it's all you can do.

Milestones: Everyday is a huge milestone for me, just so thankful for this blessing!

Hello... is anybody in there?

This is a question I ask the poppyseed all of the time! Not that I am complaining but this pregnancy adventure has been a breeze so far. I know that I am only 6 weeks but I hope this bliss continues! We told our parents about the bean this weekend, I just could not wait. For my mom and Ron we put a picture of Mike and I with the pregnancy test in her birthday slide show along with 'Baby Hamilton, arriving February 25th, 2009'. Of course there were tears shared by all as she has been a part of our struggle. Ron was a different story, after the slide show he wondered what the big deal was and why everyone was so excited. He obviously missed the whole pregnancy part, but it makes for a really funny story! My dad was also super excited, as this will be his first grandbaby too! The Hamilton clan got word of the big surprise during a very difficult photo shoot at Mike and Chris' graduation party. Glenda really wanted me to be a part of the family picture and she refused to listen to me that I did not want to be part of said picture. After a 20 minute struggle I finally got all of them to stand in the same vicinity and shouted out 'On the count of three everyone say Tara's pregnant!' You can see for yourself the look of excitement on their faces...truly priceless! We emailed Debra the pictures that day and got to tell her over the phone...she and Carlos were very happy for us and excited for the new addition. We miss you guys and wish you were here to celebrate with us!

Keep growing poppyseed, there are alot of people excited for your arrival!

Where do we begin....

August 2007 to be exact! This is the month that Mike and I decided we were finally ready to start our baby adventure... who knew that it would take this long? I will spare you the often heart breaking details, but lets just say that after several medications, a surgery and numerous encounters with a catheter we are so elated to be expecting our first! The only reason I will give a hint into our struggle is so that others going through the dark world of infertility will know that they have someone to reach out to. Mike and I know that a month can seem like a year and the feeling that you will have a monumental breakdown if you see another negative home pregnancy test. Infertility is an incredibly lonely, heartbreaking, disappointing, and often outraging journey. However, I can also say that I now have an appreciation for our struggles and how much it has made Mike and I's relationship the strongest it has ever been. I am actually getting teary just typing these words! Enough of the sadness, just know that if you need someone to reach out to, Mike and I are here with open arms.


So without further adieu... here are the first family photos!