More Than Words

I have a family! If you’re reading this, then you already know that Tara and I had our first child in February. I feel like I’m disrespecting the universe by saying it in such a matter of fact way. The words just look too simple on the page.

“had our first child”

Those four words simply do not truly represent the unbelievable emotion that this process has evoked. I have a daughter. A beautiful, happy, healthy daughter. Over the last 5 months, I have experienced feelings and emotions that I would have never thought possible. You would think I’m talking about my daughter. You would be correct. Partially.

If you know us well, you know that Tara and I have always had an outstanding relationship. Of course, we’ve had difficult times. Everyone does. But I don’t think anyone could question that I worship the ground that she walks on. I always have, from the moment I saw her across the football field. She’s an incredible person, inside and out. The thing is, I actually love her more now than ever before. That’s not to say I didn’t love her before; clearly I always have. All the emotion I had was dedicated to loving her. Well now I have more to offer. Sharing the indescribable experience of bringing a perfect little innocent person into this world together has unlocked feelings that I could never have imagined. I’ve never felt closer to anyone.

But, I’m in love with two women. If you’re a father with a daughter and you’re reading this (given the blog readership, highly unlikely) you likely understand completely how I’m feeling. If you’re not, allow me to explain. Everything has changed because of Olivia. My spending habits, my work schedule, my thoughts and feelings. All good things. I can’t imagine my life without her. I’m not sure how I ever lived without her. Suffice to say, I’m smitten. One of Tara’s coworkers over drinks last year told me that she would absolutely own me. Truer words have not been spoken. Now at 5 months, we’re at the stage where things are changing daily, and I worry that I won’t remember each of the small milestones. I’m clinging dearly to every moment that passes. My feelings are torn sometimes. I’m so excited for her to say “Da Da”, or “Ma Ma”, or something. I’m so excited for her to walk. A few months ago when I got home from work, she looked at me, recognized me, and just started beaming. That moment absolutely melted my heart. But let me tell you, the moment I’m really looking forward to: when she walks up to me with her arms out wanting me to pick her up. I can’t tell you why the thought of that moment coming up is so exciting, but it is.

I’m torn because while I look forward to all those moments, I’m terrified that time will pass by too quickly. The last 5 months have flown by. It’s scary. I’m trying to hold on to every single memory from every single milestone. For me, it’s way less about the big milestones (walking, talking, solid food). It’s the small things. Someone once told me that the secret to a good relationship was to not sweat the small things and pick my battles. I’ve found this to be very good advice. What’s funny is that it’s totally opposite of how I treat Olivia’s progress. I sweat all the small things. I just mean that I treasure every one of the small things she does. For example, every day I play a game with her. She’s lying on her back and I’m on my knees leaning over her. My face is far from hers and my hands are in the ‘claw’ position ready for attack. Then I swoop down and kiss her tummy, neck, cheeks and hands while tickling her ribs. Up until last week, it was a one-sided game. She had no idea what was happening. She might smile coincidently, or even cry. Then it all clicked for her. I swoop down for my kisses and tickles and she gives me the widest, toothiest, gummiest smile I’ve ever seen. Having finished two degrees, won a few golf tournaments, done some cool stuff at work, never have I felt so much pride. My daughter knows me. My daughter knows that when I’m playing a game with her, she should smile. I think she even knows how much it means to me.

Words are funny things. They have meanings. Sometimes more than one meaning. You say them enough, and the meaning starts to ring hollow. What does pride really mean? My parents used to tell me all the time how proud of me they were, regardless of whether I was doing something “pride worthy”. Pride was just another word. Until 5 months ago. She smiles? Proud. Sits supported? Proud. Sits unsupported? Proud. I think you get the point. I now understand how my parents felt. I can’t say how many times someone said to me “you’ll understand once you have kids”. A hundred? A thousand? Maybe more. But it’s true. I can vouch for that. You probably know that I travel a bit for work. I’ve sat next to many a random person on a flight. I’ve probably been shown pictures of my seatmate’s kids at least a dozen times over the years. I wouldn’t say that I didn’t care, but I was really only making conversation and it was an easy topic. Now I can see why it’s an easy topic. Because people love to talk about their kids. Since Olivia was born, I’ve flown 34 flight segments (I know because I just checked) (typically 2 trips a month, usually 4 segments each trip). I’ve shown my seatmate her pictures on all 34 segments. After being slightly annoyed by “that guy”, I am now “that guy”. And I love it. I just don’t care if I annoy anyone. She’s my daughter, and I’ll tell the whole world how proud I am.

I’ve always known what proud meant, but know I know what it means.

Now back to the real topic at hand...

Olivia! I am elated to tell you that as I type this blog entry I am sitting in the most adorable, comfy glider you have ever laid eyes on! This glider is even more special because it is in my daughter's room. As I glance around our otherwise furnitureless room I picture our daughter laying in her crib, cooing at the sight of her mobile. I can also picture her laying on her tummy time mat learning how to pick up her head and use her hands. Her little giggles and babbles as she is learning how to interact with her world. All of these images make me smile and cry at the same time, which I heard happens alot to mommies and daddies.

It is unbelievable to me that after almost three years of having Olivia in our dreams, she is about to become our reality. It is simply amazing. Terrifying? Yes, but the most exciting type of terrifying I have ever experienced. This week at our doctor's visit, I scheduled the big day since our little lady has decided to remain breech. Let me tell you, it is the most wonderfully weird experience to pick your daughter's birthday. I had always pictured that Olivia would pick that day for herself and I guess there is still a small chance that she still might. In my ideal world of being able to plan my life out, this is one of the only things I just did not want to know. Don't get me wrong, it is wonderful that there is an end in sight and the day is known that I will get to first lay eyes on my beautiful perfect daughter, but I still cannot help but be a little saddened. At least we know all of the family members will make it in time :)

Two of our family members will still be surprised by Miss Olivia's arrival... our pups! I just glanced down to find Benson staring up at me. These poor dogs do not know what to think about this room, this belly bump, or this glider. We do have one of the first rules established, they are not allowed to jump on Olivia's glider. Now before you go feeling sorry for them, they pretty much own all of the other furniture in our house, including our bed! This is just one thing that I am not allowing them to take over. Can you imagine having a hairy animal in your lap while you are breastfeeding your child? Poor Benson, the first time that I reprimanded him for getting on the glider he looked at me as though his whole world had just fallen apart. But no matter what sad puppy dog eyes he is giving me, I am NOT giving in!

The countdown is officially on, so keep those prayers coming! I know that I am counting down the seconds for I just cannot wait to meet our beautiful daughter!

How far along? 36 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: On the up and up... 25 pounds (yowzers!)

Maternity clothes? My maternity jeans are still fitting... praise Jesus!

Sleep: What's that? I guess I am getting prepared for many sleepless nights.

Best moment this week: Picking our daughter's birthday (well, Kathy and I). I can't believe that we have an official date!

Movement: She is running out of room and sometimes that makes me run out of patience.

Gender: Sweet baby girl!

Labor Signs: Starting to think that this would not be a bad thing!

Belly Button in or out? Out, enough said!

What I miss: Sleeping through the night, it is impossible between the potty breaks and punches.

What I am looking forward to: Her birthday!

Weekly Wisdom: As my mother said... as hard as it is, I should really be enjoying the last precious days of pregnancy. I am working on it!

The Air Up There

First, thanks to everyone that comments on my posts. It makes me feel good to be heard and I definitely read all your comments.

So, Tara and I have been watching a ton of movies at the theater recently. We understand that once little Olivia arrives, we won't have much time to go see movies at the theater. Plus, we both really love the pizza at Alamo and a movie is as good an excuse as any to eat pizza and have a beer (just me!).

Last weekend, we watched 'Up In the Air', the movie with George Clooney as a guy that's a frequent flier mile junkie. Last week, I was in Ottawa for work for a few days. On the way up there, I flew through Chicago. I didn't think Tara would want to watch that movie, so in the bookshop I ended up buying the book. It was also the cheapest book they had in paperback that I would actually want to read (no sappy romance novel), but it brings up another point: why do airport book stores carry so many hardback books? They're heavy and bulky, neither of which is good for a traveler.

So on the flight from Chicago to Ottawa I started reading the book, with no expectation of seeing the movie. I got probably 30% of the way through the book in the terminal and on the plane (which sat on the runway for 90 minutes waiting to de-ice).

On the way back to Chicago a few days later, I again was sitting on a delayed flight (cancelled in the end). I can't tell you how frustrating it is to read a book about delayed flights and frequent flier miles when your flight is delayed by 5 hours. As I'm missing one of Tara's doctor's appointments because of flight delays and cancellations, I start to feel extremely guilty. Here's why:

I love traveling. For work, for pleasure, for no good reason at all. There are so many things I love about traveling: the thrill of getting upgraded to first class, the tiny plastic and Styrofoam cups of Diet Coke and coffee (black of course), the possibility of sitting next to someone that could possibly help me in the future, the possibility of sitting next to someone that I might be able to help.

There are certainly things I dislike about traveling: late flights, cancellations, hurrying up and waiting. Most of these things wouldn't be a big deal if Tara could always travel with me. Once Ms. Olivia is born, they'll both get to tag along to some pretty cool places (The Netherlands, China, and Europe are already on tap) though they'll probably skip on China.

The thing about traveling that I probably like the most is simply the unknown. The unknown of who I'll be sitting next to and talking with. The unknown of what the first class meal will be. The mystery of which light beer (generally Miller Lite coming from the East Coast, Bud Light leaving Dallas, and returning from the West Coast) they'll have on board.

This is the point in my post (if you've read them all, you know what I'm talking about) that I take my negative trait (love of traveling) and spin it to make me look awesome (I'm getting pretty good at this). Some people fear change. Some people fear the unknown. I on the other hand love change. I love the unknown. It keeps life interesting. It's a good thing because our lives are about to change dramatically. Our daughter is going to transform our lives into something even more amazing. Change will be swift. Change will be dramatic. I will thrive because of it.

Not only does having a child invoke change, it creates the unknown. How much will Olivia weigh? How long will she be? Will she have hair? When will she sleep through the night? When will she be potty trained? Where will she go to college(damn well better be Texas)? What will she choose to do with her life? From here on out, we'll have to be willing and able to live in the unknown. Not only do I know that can thrive amongst the unknown, but I'll love every minute of it.

I'm sure of all heard the old adage, "change is good". I think it really should be "change is necessary". Change is natural.

For us, change is just around the corner.

More shower pictures!

Shower time!

As I typed the header to this post, I began to think about showers... not just baby/wedding showers, but the showers we take on a daily basis to stay clean. Now, when I say shower time, this does not equal a good time for me. I do not think I will ever take showering with ease for granted again. We have a tiny, standing room only shower and needless to say, we are not the best of friends at this point. It is impossible to get anything done in there, so my quick 15 minute showers of the past have been replaced by 30 minute sessions which often involve uncomfortableness and crying. Olivia does not like showers either, which makes it even more fun as she attempts to do cartwheels over my bladder, ribs and cervix. I guess it is the sound of the water hitting my abdomen... so weird!

Sorry about my quick soap box rant, I will now move on to more pleasant shower topics... like a sweet baby shower. Some of my dear friends in Austin were kind enough to throw Olivia and I a baby shower... and let me tell you it was fantastic! I just feel so loved when our dear friends and family come together to celebrate such a special time in Mike and I's lives. As my sweet husband mentioned in the previous blog post, we are so fortunate to have these wonderful people in our lives and Olivia will be incredibly lucky to get to know each and every one of them. Several other friends and family could not make it for various reasons, let's face it... life gets in the way, but we want them to know that we are thinking of them and cannot wait for all of you to meet our dear, sweet daughter!

The Hamilton clan was fortunate enough to receive some wonderful loot at this shower... we made out like bandits! :) Now Olivia will have a car seat to ride in, a stroller to save my poor back, the most comfortable bedding to sleep on (yes, she will be sleeping in her crib... promise!), a playpen to contain this crazy girl, a breast pump for well... you know, and the nursing covers to hide it all, some fantastic wall decorations (thanks Aunt Grace), a floor play mat to learn, a precious diaper bag to old all of our crap, a boppy, burp cloths, blankets, bath tub, medications and bath wash, the cutest clothes and toys, and a book that brings me to tears (the Day You Were Born) just to name few. Mike said it best when he said that it is not necessarily the gifts that bring us such great joy (don't get me wrong, they are wonderful and will be absolute lifesavers) but it is the thought and love that you have shown our growing family! So thank you a million times over!

One more closing note before I go, Olivia is still breech so keep those prayers coming! Turn little girl, turn!

How far along? 35 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 23 pounds... WOW!

Maternity clothes? How in the world can you outgrown maternity clothes? This is insane!

Sleep: What's that? I guess I am getting prepared for many sleepless nights.

Best moment this week: Getting to see friends and family... we love you guys! We also got to see our sweet girl in all of her breech glory... grrrrr!

Movement: In full force, we are not kidding around anymore folks!

Gender: Sweet baby girl!

Labor Signs: No thank you!

Belly Button in or out? Out, enough said!

What I miss: Feeling comfortable after a meal and laying on my stomach. I would give a MILLIONTY dollars to just lay on my stomach.

What I am looking forward to: Putting away all of the gifts!

Weekly Wisdom: Learn the boundaries of your body, I have bumped my stomach into more things then I care to mention and I have the bruises to prove it!

Strollering Through My Thoughts

I’m sitting on a plane. Yes, I’m in first class which makes in only slightly more bearable. I’m in first class because I’m top tier on an airline. It also means that too many days last year I was in an airplane not with my wife. Given all we’ve gone through in the last 12 months, I sometimes feel exceptionally guilty. Two weekends ago, Tara was thrown a baby shower. I’ve never been shy in hiding my contempt for the whole “shower” process. Baby showers. Wedding Showers. Bachelorette Parties. Whoever decided to get married or have a child should have made that decision understanding the financial implications of that decision. If you can’t afford to get married, then don’t. If you can’t afford to have a child, then don’t.

Tara and I sat down and decided to have a child. We want this more than anything and I’m supremely confident that we’ll be amazing parents. But I don’t believe that any of our friends or family is responsible for providing us with the goods necessary to provide for our daughter. We made a conscious decision in having a daughter. Not only did we make that decision, but we went through hell to have her. Me bending over for the doctor, taking hormone pills, taking vitamins and advil (long story) were an extremely small price compared to the painful surgery Tara endured that was simply exploratory. I don’t discuss these things because I want sympathy. I only discuss them for context so you can understand how I’m feeling.

The last eight months has seen more milestones for me than I can count. We found out we were pregnant in mid June. I feel guilty saying that ‘we’ are pregnant. The funny thing about pregnancy is that it’s something you either really want or it’s something that you really don’t. When you don’t want to be pregnant, I imagine that a boyfriend/lover/husband says something to the effect off “You’re pregnant. What do you want to do about it?”. When a couple wants more than anything to be parents, they say “We’re pregnant! This is amazing!”. The truth is that Tara is pregnant. She’s the one going through dramatic changes: hormones, weight gain (to be fair, she looks amazing), emotional highs and lows. I get a free ride to parenthood. Finding out about the pregnancy was the first milestone in the last 35 weeks. There have been many others. We saw the tiny flicker on the sonogram machine in mid July. The first week of October, we found out that our child was to be a little girl. In case you haven’t heard, my face turned white and I nearly passed out at the doctor’s office I was so happy, amazed, and surprised. The next week after that, we ordered the furniture for the nursery (that shit’s expensive!). Three weeks later we pretty much settled on Olivia as our daughter’s name.

Each of these milestones took my internal realization of the amazing change that’s about to happen to us to the next level. That said, I want to take a step back to when I got home Sunday night. Tara was so excited for all the amazing gifts people were kind enough to share with us. I found my skepticism waning. As we started to go through all the gifts to ensure Thank You notes were accurate and not neglected, things started to change for me. I’ll be honest. There are two gifts that stood out to me that have dramatically changed my outlook. My mother was kind enough to purchase the stroller/car seat combination that we wanted. It was definitely not inexpensive. Tara’s mother was kind enough to purchase the bedding that our daughter will be sleeping upon. I can’t believe how much a stroller and bedding would cost. As we opened the package with the bedding, there’s something about velvety-smooth thread woven into a perfectly sewn blanket that changed me. As Tara sat there and watched me put together a stroller that I’m simply not intelligent enough to figure out how to operate, something changed.

As I sat there and looked at the two things that my daughter will be spending the most time touching, something changed. I’m going to be a father. And please spare me the “You’ve known you’re going to be a father for 8 months”. Yes. Absolutely true. The problem is that if you know me, you know that my brain and heart are frequently disconnected.

If you’ve had the patience to read up to this point(if you skipped to then end, go back to ‘Start’ and do not collect $200), you know that I’m cynical about ‘showering’. I had a discussion about imperfection with my father last week about people being ‘perfectly imperfect’. I’m admitting that maybe I was wrong about the whole process. I’m imperfect. Maybe I’m even perfectly imperfect.

I guess what I’m trying to say to those that came to a shower for us, mailed a gift, sent a prayer for Olivia, Tara or Me, or just thought about us, I was wrong about everything. All I can do is offer my unending gratitude for your gifts that have granted me the ability to see what seems so simple but has eluded me for 8 months: I’m going to be a dad. And for that, I’ll be eternally grateful.

Running out of room

Not only has Olivia completely overtaken my mind, she has now officially taken over my body. The hormones, achiness, uncomfortableness, breathlessness, among many other -ness' has reached an all time high! I guess this is the part that most women complain about. I feel like I have eaten three Thanksgiving dinners at any given time throughout the day. Don't get me wrong, I am loving it, but I cannot wait to meet this little lady because that will mean that she will have vacated the premises. Her punches and kicks are getting much stronger and some of them have even taken my breath away. Also, I definitely have the "alien belly" thing going on, you can see her movements and body parts rolling around underneath my skin... crazy!!!

Mike and I went through a really fun birthing class this weekend. Well, fun for me and a little on the scary side for Mike. It was fun watching his face as our instructor uttered words like mucous plug, bloody show, "ring of fire", and lochia... among many other things. But the best part was for Mike to see how big the cervix actually dilates. He turned green as he gawked at what 10cm dilation actually looks like! Also, we got to try out many birthing positions, which meant massage time for me!!! I got to lay in all these comfortable positions as Mike was forced to rub my belly, shoulders, back and legs... heaven!!! And at the end of our weekend we received a golden piece of paper that stated we are qualified to give birth. Well, let's hope so since this little lady has to come out somehow!

Alright everyone now down to business, we need your assistance! It seems as though our stubborn little girl does not want to move into the head down position, which is essential if I want to avoid a Cesarean section. I guess this is the start of paybacks for being a stubborn child myself. So, we need your prayers and any advice that you have to offer. I will keep everyone updated on our progress. Dr. Youngkin already suggested that I stand on my head, and I can assure you that it is not going to happen. If I cannot breathe standing upright, how in the heck am I going to breathe with a 5 pound baby sitting on my lungs?

We also need prayers for our furniture and my sanity, these two are going hand-in-hand now days. I think that when one order's nursery furniture from USA baby, they plant the trees to construct your furniture on the day of your purchase. That is the only justification I can think of for this whole process taking 15+ weeks. Not being able to set up her room is driving this Type A personality crazy. When mom is not happy, then no one is really happy!

How far along? 34 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 21 pounds, I would like to pretend that it is all in the belly, but who am I fooling?

Maternity clothes? I refuse to buy maternity pajamas, but my old pajamas are not fitting anymore :(

Sleep: Insomnia is in full force! It really seems to be a problem on the nights before I have to work , figures!

Best moment this week: Graduating from birthing class, maybe we really can do this! Also, seeing her chubby cheeks on ultrasound, I guess the one good thing about her being breech is getting to actually see her each week!

Movement: Never thought I would want this to cease, but can be just be a little more gentle Olivia? Pretty please!

Gender: Sweet baby girl!

Labor Signs: No thank you!

Belly Button in or out? Out, enough said!

What I miss: Being able to breathe, I am not even kidding about this people. I have never felt this way!

What I am looking forward to: Getting our furniture so I can finally stop obsessing about it!

Weekly Wisdom: Take a birthing class, it was basically 6 hours of Mike massaging me... heaven!!!

What the Heck is a Chair Rail?!?!

For those keeping track at home, this is week 33 of our little adventure. That's 33 weeks and 1 blog post from the husband/father. My batting average is not good.

I've definitely got a tough task ahead of me. All of you guys that have been following "our" blog for the last 8 months have likely come to appreciate Tara's exceptionally witty humor and amazing ability to tell a great story. Unfortunately, I am not funny, and I suck at telling stories. So, I apologize in advance for wasting your time with my incoherent ramblings.

When your wife is pregnant, the husband is supposed to be patient and willing to ride the highs and lows of the emotional roller coaster that the hormones are supposedly going to create. Also, the husband is supposed to say "You look great!" when she asks if she looks fat. Last, and most importantly, the husband is supposed to handle getting the nursery set up. For those of you that know how me very well, you know that I'm definitely the more emotional one in the relationship. Now that can be good and bad. It also has some interesting side effects when talking about a couple expecting their first child. When we first found out we were pregnant, I mentally prepared myself for the emotional roller coaster that would be my pregnant wife. I think somehow the hormones actually diffused through the air into me because I'm the one riding the roller coaster. She's been exceptionally even keel for this whole process. So of the 3 things a husband is supposed to do, I'm 0 for 1. The next thing the husband is supposed to be useful for is reassuring her that she looks nice. For how (perfectly) big her belly is getting, I think she's actually losing weight. She looks amazing all around. I on the other hand look like a big fat slob and my pregnant wife has to reassure me. I'm at this point 0 for 2. Not good.

My last task as a husband and father-to-be is helping set up the nursery. Surprisingly, this did not start out so well. So we're at the paint store talking to the manager about what kind of paint to use. He asks her what the room is going to look like so she starts explaining. It went something like this:

Tara: "It'll be pink in the lower half of the room with pink and white stripes above the chair rail..."

Mike: "Wait a minute, what the heck is a chair rail" (I might have used another 'h' word instead of heck)

Tara: "It is a piece of molding that goes around the room about 3 feet up the wall. It is usually painted to match the baseboards and molding around the doors."

Mike: "So who is going to install this thing?"

At this point the store manager starts laughing because he knows that I have no idea what the heck is going on. This was an ominous start to my project. So, we buy $250 worth of paint and almost as much in blue tape (that stuff is expensive!) and I get started. Keep in mind that when I say 'I' in the rest of the store, I really mean 'we'. I start out by painting the entire room a cream color. That includes the walls and ceiling. I put two coats of cream paint on everything. Once this dries, I paint the entire closet pink (except the ceiling of course). Now it's time to start the fun part. I tape off the area around the walls that the chair rail is supposed to go. Underneath this tape, I paint the entire area solid pink. OK, that was easy enough. Now the really unpleasant part: the stripes. Of course Tara insists on 10" stripes around the perimeter of the room. What she doesn't take in to account is that the perimeter of the room is about 500". That's 50 stripes. It doesn't sound like all that many until you start having to tape off 50 stripes. It took forever. So now I've got the tape up so I can paint my pink stripes over the top of the cream base. I paint the stripes fairly quickly and then wait for the paint to dry. Once dry, I remove the tape. To my utter dismay, the paint had bled underneath the tape and made really blurry lines. I was ready to cut my losses and just paint the upper half of the room cream and leave the bottom half pink. All you need to know is that I lost that battle. Tara then goes back to the paint store and asks what we should do to make the stripes come out cleaner. They have no idea. She wanders the store and finds some tape that's $10 per roll. It's supposed to make cleaner edges. So we try out this tape in a small area and give it a go. There was definitely good news and bad news.

Good News: "The tape worked really well"
Bad News: "Mike and Tara get to re-tape the entire room and re-paint"

Since we finally got the room all painted and finished up, I get the pleasure of posting the pictures of our newly anointed nursery. The furniture doesn't come in for another couple of weeks, so keep your fingers crossed for us that it comes in time for Miss Olivia.

She also asked me to post the same survey/questionnaire thingy that she always does so here goes:

How far along? 33 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: More sympathy pounds than I care to admit...

Maternity clothes? It's a good thing Tara is getting use out of my shirts because I can't fit in them anymore.

Sleep: Yes please!

Best moment this week: Feeling Miss Olivia's hiccups

Movement: As I've said since the very beginning, I think we've got a soccer player on our hands. I just hope she'll also play a little golf with me as well.

Gender: If you don't already know, then this is your first visit to the blog. I'm just sorry you had to start out with my post!

Labor Signs: I'm not on strike standing in a picket line, so no signs.

Belly Button in or out? I can't even find mine anymore.

What I miss: Sharing a nice bottle of wine with my lovely wife over dinner.

What I am looking forward to: Two things: First, meeting my daughter. Second, her falling asleep in my arms.

Weekly Wisdom: Always be patient and forgiving with everyone you meet because at some point you'll need someone to be both of those things

Hi, my name is...

Slicka Slim Shady! Kidding! So, I have a really big mouth and I am sure that most of you have heard our name selection by now, but I just had to do the big reveal on the blog for those of you who do not know! Oh, and excuse my make-up free face, pregnancy does not yield the most perfect complexions :( So without further adieu... drum roll please!

Olivia Lynn Hamilton

or

Olivia Grace Hamilton

Mike and I are having alot of trouble deciding on the middle name. I have always loved the name Grace and one of my dear friends (Grace) has already given me permission to use it, so how can I not? We took Lynn from my middle name. What do you guys think?

Santa Baby

Wow... Christmas came and went in a hurry! When Mike and I discovered we were growing a little bean, Christmas seemed like an eternity away. I cannot believe that we have come this far in what seems like a minute of time. I had to work on Christmas Eve... big boo on that! So Mike and I went to Houston to visit the family on Christmas day. I am really excited to say that we got the camera of our dreams for Christmas, and you can be really excited too because that means alot of adorable pictures of the bean for you to see! I have already been taking a TON of pictures and the poor pups have been my test subjects. I think they are getting really tired of having a camera in their face at all hours of the day. But hey, practice makes perfect right? I want to get this whole picture taking thing down before the bambino arrives so if anyone out there has some tips they would be greatly appreciated!

Seeing our family was wonderful and we even got to see Mike's brother, his wife and our 2 adorable nephews! Wow, those precious kiddos have ALOT of energy. How in the heck am I going to keep up with a child? I can barely take the trash out without needing a nap! Mike and I enjoyed our last quiet little Christmas together and talked about how next Christmas we are going to have our own little rug rat pulling ornaments off the tree.

Mike and I usually take a fun trip every year for our Christmas present, but since that is out of the question we resorted to buying each other gifts. Let me tell you, I really despise shopping for Christmas presents, it is stressful and there is really nothing fun about it! So, I took the easy way out and bought Mike 2 rounds of guilt-free golf, before the baby is born, at 2 gorgeous courses in Austin. Now, the real kicker here is "guilt-free"! Unfortunately, I cannot remember the last time I did not whine and cry about Mike going to play golf. The problem is this... it takes at least 8 hours, from start to finish, and he always has to play on the weekends when I want him to play with me! But, I put my big girl panties on and bought him a free pass to spend time with my nemesis. We will see if I can follow though with the guilt-free part, I will try my hardest! Mike bought the most gorgeous necklace for the bean and I. It is two sterling silver hearts, one is smaller and says "I love you" and the other one is slightly larger and it blank. He told me that when our daughter is born he will give the smaller heart to her and engrave a super secret message on my heart. I cannot wait to see what the engraving will be... how sweet is that? This reminds me of the most precious saying I heard this past week, "You are the only one who has heard my heart beat from the inside my sweet baby!"

How far along? 31 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I do not weigh on the holidays :)

Maternity clothes? I have started to wear Mike's t-shirts as they are the only T-shirts I can fit into. Man, I look goooood :)

Sleep: Now I am starting to have a bit of insomnia, better to prepare me for when she arrives.

Best moment this week: Christmas and family, it doesn't get much better than that!

Movement: She likes to push her back and bottom up against my belly, it is really funny when she does because my belly becomes all lopsided.

Gender: A sweet little miss.

Labor Signs: No thank you!

Belly Button in or out? It has gone from bad to worse, now it is itching too!

What I miss: Being able to bend over, it is amazing how much I have taken for granted my whole life. Every movement is becoming a chore!

What I am looking forward to: I big ol' frosty glass of Blue Moon after delivery. I walked by it at CostCo the other day.

Weekly Wisdom: You need a minimum of 5 pillows to sleep when you are pregnant, who knew?